Like a bridge over troubled water

What in the heck happens if my water breaks at work???
That is my question of the day.
How long before my due date do I take leave from work?
I have no idea what the protocol is.
What happens if I stand up and my water breaks and flows across the aisle and into Mary's cubicle like a broken aquarium? or worse yet...Tim's cube...or worse yet...while I am giving a presentation in front of people that I dont know?
Do I go to the janitor closet and get the bucket and mop before I head to the hospital? Like, do I take a paper towel and clean off the splatter on Mary's shoes?
What happens if Jimmy decides to be in the flag stand at the races and he can't hear his phone and I have to drive myself to the hospital?
What happens if I make him come home because I just think I am in labor...and it turns out that I am really not in labor? What if I do it like 3 times, like on Father of the Bride 2?
What happens if my mom can't leave work in time to drive 3 hours and Jimmy passes out and then I really dont have anyone to help me?
What happens if I have one of those really fast labors and I give birth in the parking lot, like when my Uncle Randy was born?
What if I deliver the baby and then all of the sudden they tell me that there is another baby that they missed in the ultrasounds?
What happens if in a few weeks my breasts start to leak and I have two wet spots appear just in time for me to go into a meeting with my new boss? I better start keeping another set of clothes in the car!
What if I sneeze and pee my pants, like the girls on thebump say happens to them?
Amanda said her cousin wouldnt sit on anyone's couch toward the end of her pregnancy...well I am not going to either!
God knows I realize people poop on the delivery table...and I am just now wrapping my mind around that fact. But, the people in the delivery room are used to that, right???
My coworkers may not be used to me dropping a few pounds of water mixed with amniotic fluid onto the carpet.
Seriously, this is what I think about thanks to the blood flow to my brain being twice it's normal amount.