A change of plans

Last week, Audrey spiked an incredibly high fever.
We visited the ER via the ambulance and a 100 mph ride prior in her dad's emergency vehicle, with our nephew Parker in tow.
The diagnosis: febrile seizure.
This is now Audrey's 3rd febrile seizure, a seizure that happens when the body's temperature elevates or decreases at a rapid pace.
Needless to say, Jim and I were feeling helpless and not so hopeful.
Nobody wants their child to go through such a scary endeavor.

My sister in law and BIL picked up their son, who I think we traumatized for life, at the ER. And, Jim and I headed home with a kiddo that had a fever still hovering at 103.5 degrees.

The following morning, we woke to find hives on our little girl's body.
I immediately got dressed and we took her to the emergent care at our pediatricians office.
There, we found that she had quite a red and pussy throat. She was swabbed for strep. It came back negative.
They sent us for blood work. It came back with elevated levels of her monocytes, or what looked to be MONO.
I know what you are thinking, what 16 month old gets mono. Right then, our 16 month year old was the only one.
SO, we went home and worked to keep her fever down. We called all of our close friends and family to be sure to share the news, as they may have contracted the illness. We had the whole world surrounding Audrey Joy Salter on its hinges.
AND THEN, the fever broke. But, a strange speckly rash appeared on her back.
We had an appointment scheduled with our primary care Pediatrician...and man oh man, are we glad that we kept it.
at first glance, he assured me that Audrey did not have mono, but that the fever and rash were due to a viral infection called Roseola. febrile Seizure is a common side effect of this virus. Our dear friends the Natales son, Lathan, was now sporting signs of the very same illness.
This was Jim and Stacy Salter's last straw...the one that broke the camels back.
The only way we are going to work to ward off any more illness and ER visits and febrile seizures and ear infections and whatever else comes with getting sick, is to make a life change FOR Audrey.
So, today, after putting it off for 2 days, I called the daycare and let them know that the best decision for Aud is to pull her out of the program and allow her some time to build her immune system to where it should be. We have had a sick kid for 9 months, since the 2nd week of daycare. They can't help it. It is the nature of caring for little kids in a daycare setting. Sickness happens.
I am scared to be a full-time mom. I wonder to myself, am I too selfish for this.
Am I good enough to be the one to teach her how to sing her ABC's, and go on the potty and can I really make those handprint wreaths and turkeys. The answer is: Yes.
God is giving me an opportunity in all of this. An opportunity to watch my little girl grow up more closely than I was before.
It might seem like a change of plans for me, but it is exactly what the plan was from the beginning for him.