I feel like I am floundering.
Please nobody say, "I told you so!"
I am floundering in my faith.
I am floundering in my good health habits that I set out to keep up with.
I am floundering with many things...but most of all...
I am absolutely floundering when it comes to a job.
for me....job equals status.
I have SOOOO many jobs:
excluding the job of Mama...which is my 24/7 job that I don't feel I flounder at, I have
1.DeHart, my dad's company. I can't get the darn Telxon to work. I don't understand the state minimum for cigarettes, I don't like to explain to customers that the Arizona Ice tea they chose is the most popular and there wasnt enough for them when we picked and packed the delivery truck. I don't know how my dad manages 140 customers. I love doing it, but I flounder at it.
2. Benchmark. I wish that the field of higher education looked like it did 8 years ago. Schools are afraid of outside services. They report to someone, who reports to someone else and they have to cover their butts. I wish I could go into every potential account and make them understand why Benchmark is a great resource for every graduating career seeking human alive...but alas....I can't. I havent given up on my plight...but I am floundering.
3. Just So Stacy....I refuse to flounder. I am just getting started and that means learning and classes and shadowing...and as you can imagine life with a 1 year old...my time is limited.
BUT TODAY, I walked into a classroom for the first time in 14 years and Guess what, despite not understanding how the TV and VCR wall Combo worked and then realizing it was never plugged in or even hooked up for that matter....I DID NOT FLOUNDER!
In fact, I swam laps.
I left there with a reminder in my heart that there was a reason I went to school to teach. I LOVE TO TEACH!
I taught Home Ec, and although i am a horrible ironer( is that a word) I felt confident and excited.
I prayed on my way to drop off Audrey at Daycare: "Lord( I know we havent talked alot lately) but please watch over my daughter...so I dont have to leave my sub position on my first day to care for one of her typical head wounds or hand wounds, or fevers, or sniffles.
When I dropped her off and got back into the car, I prayed again: "Lord, remember me from earlier( lol, he always remembers me...I am loud and he cant forget me...thank goodness) Lord....I am handing my day over to you and the kids that I teach over to you and all that comes my way, I am handing them to you...because I trust you.
I made it through a short day, and instead of calling my mom the first second I walked out the door, I thanked God for listening....or should I say speaking to me and letting me hear him for once.
I am excited about whatever God has in store for me. I would be so excited if he takes me right back to where he placed me so long ago.
It was me who took me off that track. I have no regrets. I learned so much and experienced so much at Campus Door. I met amazing people and I feel like what I learned there I will use for the rest of my life....wherever God decides to lead me.
